note-10-10-25
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theme-08-10-25
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(
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...
10/10:.... a
bit
in
doubt
what
to
do
...
my
wife
on
retreat
,
like
ly her
last
,
the
children
at
school
,
I
am left to
my
self
, as
I
wrote
in
my
scratch
of
today
,
with
stiff
legs,
pain
when
I
walk
, which even
limit
(
s
)
my
hand
stand
(
s
), but
I
make an
effort
to
accept
that, and
do
only
84
, not to cause any
damage
, and
give
my
-
self
some
rest
, and,
of
course,
time
to
read
,
where
I
have to make a
choice
between
learning
and
the
brain
,
experiment
(
s
) to
break
the
line
ar
pattern
of
goal
(
s
) and
reward
(
s
), and,
indeed
,
the
wandering
monk
, which some
how
I
feel compelled to keep
read
ing, perhaps because
the
story
reminds me
of
our
one
year
travel
(
s
)
in
asia
, as well as
the
topic
(
s
)
of
solitude
and
spirit
ual
growth
, although
the
story
also has a strong
emphasis
on
talking
,
writing
and
book
(
s
)
of
faith
, quite
intellectual
in
effect
, which adds to
my
doubt
what
to
do
...
go
out, have a
smoke
and
look
at
the
sky
...
or
stay
in
my
cave
/corner and
read
!
Æ
gift
:
...
what
is
there
to
say
,
life
is not a
joke
, so
I
just
give
it
a
try
...
word
(
s
)
...
learn
brain
void
stage
control
Æ